Tuesday, 8 July 2014

A muse




Would you have?

I admired you from afar. Your loveliness,  splendor, inner confidence all nourished me as I longed, unnoticed, from an inferior point in the room. Your proximity froze my breath, evoked an urge to swallow and rendered me wordless. Through the years, we met - again and again – albeit briefly; as acquaintances, as colleagues, as two among many, when we’d nod, smile, and I’d perform, again the role of indifferent bystander.

I played it safe, remained aloof, pride shielding me from the savage slash of rejection.

Three decades on, we occasionally meet and we nod and smile. Two contented people with separate lives, shared with loving partners. Two people harboring a plethora of life’s indentations – joys, achievements, losses, failures – that will forever remain hidden from the other.  But tell me, what if I’d asked? What if I’d risked? What if I’d plunged in and expressed my yearning?

Would you have?

22 comments:

  1. You would have probably found out the person was better in your mind than the reality...

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  2. Would you have dared to squeeze the universe into a ball, to roll it toward some overwhelming question... There's much of J. Alfred Prufrock in your lament. I think we all wonder about things that might have been if we'd only dared.

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  3. I didn't realize I was attempting a pathetic imitation of TS Elliot, but now you come to mention it ...

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  4. Wow. That really sucked me in.

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    1. Thanks for reading, Kate. I thought I'd try something a bit different.

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  5. I suppose it just wasn't to be, and you found someone equally good I should hope. A bird in the hand is a bird indeed, as we say in the jungle. :)

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  6. Yes, I'm with a wonderful lady who I wouldn't swap for anybody.

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  7. Wow. Just...wow. I'm trying to find the right words to express my thoughts on this but it has left me speechless. In a good way. Well done!

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    1. Well, thank you Kim. It can always feel a bit strange to write something that is different from one's usual fare.

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  8. LOVE!
    Tell me who this person is!!!!!!!
    Excellent post.

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  9. A figment of my imagination!

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  10. Fantasy is always more of a seductress than the reality. Wonderful writing!

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    1. You're correct about fantasy, Terrye. I appreciate the positive comment.

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  11. The could-have/would-haves are the thoughts that sneak in when you're not expecting them. You expressed them quite elegantly here.

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  12. Dude.

    I mean...I like you too and all. I've checked out your blog. I've read your stuff. You visited my blog and I was happy for it. But this...this is a bit too much. It's...it's not you. It's me!

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    1. Drat, the target of my infatuation has been revealed to the world. Oh the pain of rejection!

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  13. You set off Aerosmith's "What Could Have Been Love" playing in my head. But your pensive piece is far better, more positive and happier than that melancholic song. Beautifully done! I'm glad life usually gives us what we NEED rather than what we think we WANT.

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    1. You're right - what we need and what we think we want can be very different animals.

      Thanks, as always for your support and interest.

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  14. I can't think of any of the "What Ifs" in my past who would have been a good choice. A good time... maybe... but not a good choice.

    A short, yet powerfully packed, thought provoking post. Kudos!

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    1. Anita, thanks for your generous comments - it's nice to get a positive reaction when you attempt something a bit different

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